


Newton's Universal Law of Gravitation

by NinjaSalamander



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Drinking, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, immortality AU, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 15:46:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5253947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinjaSalamander/pseuds/NinjaSalamander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Geoff really needs to get a handle on that whole falling off of buildings thing before Ryan loses his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Newton's Universal Law of Gravitation

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: I didn't really change anything, just fixed some dialogue tag issues I noticed upon rereading.

_Hey, Ry, will you come pick me up?_ That’s how it always happened when Geoff went on a bender. He texted Ryan to come get him once he'd sobered up. _What building this time?_ Geoff texted back an address and Ryan got in his Zentorno to go pick the dumbass up.

By the time Ryan got there, it was raining hard. Geoff was huddled under an awning, soaking wet and holding his thin jacket tight around himself. Blood was caked in his hair, and both of his eyes were still black. Ryan sighed and reached across the car, opening the passenger’s side door so that Geoff could slide his shivering form into the seat. Ryan turned the heat up, fixing Geoff With a chastising look.

“A skyscraper? Really?”

Geoff shrugged. “I learned a long time ago not to question the ways of Drunk Geoff.”

Ryan sighed. He didn't know if Drunk Geoff was suicidal enough to _jump_ or if he simply _fell off_ of tall buildings, but this happened more often than Ryan would have liked. It was often enough to warrant a routine, even. Geoff would get blackout drunk and wind up on the sidewalk at the bottom of a building. Ryan guessed splattering your skull on the pavement from forty stories sobered you up pretty quick, because he always got a text as soon as Geoff managed to scrape himself off the ground. Drunk Geoff was surprisingly considerate with regard to landing in a position that wouldn't fuck up Geoff’s phone.

Geoff unbent the fingers of his left hand with a sickening crackle of bone against bone and reached for Ryan’s right hand where it sat on the center console. Ryan made a face at the sound, but allowed Geoff to lace their fingers together. A slightly awkward silence settled over them in the car as they drove, and of course Geoff had to break it.

“Sorry.”

Ryan arched an eyebrow. “For what?”

Geoff gestured to the interior of the car with his free hand, and Ryan tried to ignore the popping of Geoff’s elbow as he did so.

“You know. Having to pick me up and shit.”

Ryan shrugged. He really didn’t mind having to come get Geoff. He would rather pick the idiot up than have to worry about Geoff making it home on his own.

“It’s fine.”

Geoff shot Ryan a look that said it wasn’t fine, but Ryan just shrugged again. “It’s not like I’m going to make you fucking walk home.” There was an implied ‘you dumbass’ attached to the end of that sentence that Ryan hoped Geoff got. After a few more moments of silence, Ryan asked, “You want me to help you get the blood out of your hair?”

Geoff nodded. “I never get it all when you don’t help.”

Ryan offered Geoff a small smile and squeezed his hand reassuringly. When they pulled up to the apartment building, Ryan was tempted to just pick Geoff up and carry him to the shower, but he somehow doubted that Geoff would go for that. Instead, he settled for helping Geoff out of the car and slinging one of Geoff’s arms over his shoulders in an effort to keep some weight off of his no doubt painful legs. That was the one irritating thing about total body injuries. You tended to heal a little slower than if you just got stabbed or something.

Once they made it up to the penthouse, Ryan guided Geoff directly to the bathroom. He took Geoff's clothes off of him one item at a time, surveying the damage as he did so. He was covered in a variety of bruises, and a few of his bones looked like they might not be exactly where they were supposed to be, but it wasn’t the worst it had ever been. Once, Geoff had fallen out of a helicopter at thirteen thousand feet. That had been much worse than this. As soon as Ryan was satisfied that Geoff could manage to stay upright on his own, he took off his own clothes and turned on the shower, opting for the warmest setting he thought Geoff could handle. Geoff was looking a little paler than Ryan thought was strictly normal, so heat would be just the thing to put a little color back in Geoff’s cheeks. Besides, standing out in the rain for twenty minutes certainly warranted a warm shower.

Ryan got in the shower and tugged the suddenly mute Geoff in after him, adjusting the older man so that the spray hit him in the right spots. He lathered up his hands with shampoo (which one of theirs it was didn't particularly matter, but the possessive side of Ryan often had him reaching for his own, if only to drench Geoff in as much Ryan scent as possible) and then transferred the lather to Geoff’s hair. He scrubbed gently, blunt nails massaging Geoff’s no doubt sore scalp as the blood sloughed off and mixed with the foam. Geoff let out an appreciative groan at the massaging, and took a few steps closer to Ryan once the shampoo had been rinsed out. He ran his hands over the broad expanse of Ryan’s chest and hummed softly as Ryan leaned down to press a gentle kiss to Geoff’s forehead.

“I love you,” Geoff mumbled, spindly fingers finding their way into Ryan’s too long hair to tug him down for a chaste kiss on the mouth. Ryan smiled slightly at that.

“Me too.” That was as close to saying it back as Ryan ever managed. It wasn’t that he _didn’t_ love Geoff. He just had an overactive sense of paranoia that told him not to let himself have a vulnerability like that, as if saying the words made it more real than feeling them. “Come on. Let's get you dressed. You can borrow my sweatshirt if you want.” Geoff smiled at that and let Ryan help him dry off when they got out of the shower. True to his promise, Ryan presented Geoff with his sweatshirt in addition to Geoff’s own clothes.

“Holy shit. The great Ryan Haywood shares? Who knew.”

That comment earned Geoff a snort. “Only with idiot boyfriends.”

Geoff let out a little hum of concession at that. Ryan wasn’t usually a big sharer with others, but he was certainly willing to share with Geoff. After clothing themselves, they found themselves in bed facing each other, with Geoff’s face pressed into Ryan’s neck. Ryan carded his fingers gently through Geoff’s damp hair, listening to the slight rattle that remained in Geoff’s breath.

“Still sorry,” Geoff said softly after a few moments. Ryan sighed.

“Do you do it on purpose?”

The question caused Geoff to stiffen slightly in Ryan’s arms, and Ryan instantly regretted having asked it.

“I don’t know.”

That didn’t fill Ryan with a great deal of confidence.

“I don’t know.”

Ryan pressed a kiss to the top of Geoff’s head and squeezed him gently.

“It’s okay.” It wasn’t, but Ryan really didn’t want to upset Geoff any more than he probably already was. “Even if you do it on purpose, I’ll always be here to pick your ass up, okay?” Geoff muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “don’t know why”, and Ryan pulled back slightly to look in Geoff’s eyes. “Because I love you, asshole.”

Geoff’s eyes widened a little at that. He broke into a small, crooked smile and brought a hand up to rest on Ryan’s cheek.

“I love you too. Sorry I’m such a piece of shit.”

Ryan shrugged and smiled slightly.

“Good thing I’m a piece of shit, too. We can be pieces of shit together. The Shit Family Robinson.”

Geoff couldn’t suppress laughter at that. “Jesus Christ. You’re a fucking dork.”

Ryan smirked.

“So I’ve been told.”

**Author's Note:**

> I got this notion in my head where immortal Geoff has a tendency to fall (or jump, no one's really sure) off of buildings when he's blackout drunk, and then Ryan has to go pick him up and is 900% done, so naturally I had to write it. I couldn't figure out how to end it, so bear with the crappy ending.


End file.
